Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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