; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I want a musical about memes.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
