Welp...herpes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I deserve this hangover.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
