Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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