Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Randomize
