shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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