distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
