The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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