If that was your dad, he is hot
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
