so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize