There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
