so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How does it feel to date your dad?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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