I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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