Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
