im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
