My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
