In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize