Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
