Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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