Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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