I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I checked into jail on foursquare
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
