Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
