Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
