I hate all girls vehemently.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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