ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..

  Fav 17 860 4124

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.

  Fav 22 951 5353

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (256): View more from Alabama

  As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

  Fav 6 5152 874

  share tweet
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline

  Fav 6 5822 2348

  share tweet
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.

  Fav 3 2768 978

  share tweet
  

• (415): View more from California

  i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation

  Fav 7 2588 887

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.

  Fav 4 2330 875

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Pics or STFU

  Fav 5 1319 582

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.

  Fav 2 446 663

  share tweet
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB

  Fav 3 1043 548

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.

  Fav 3 757 457

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (813): View more from Florida

  This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)

  (863): View more from Florida

  New phone new life!

  Fav 1 491 277

  share tweet
  

• (772): View more from Florida

  I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life

  Fav 0 456 233

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..

  Fav 3 96 115

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.

  Fav 0 16 45

  share tweet
  

Randomize