let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
