I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
