He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
