i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
