My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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