Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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