i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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