You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I want a musical about memes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
