i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize