is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
