Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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