im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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