What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
