Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you inspire me to be a worse person
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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