weddingsv make me drug and hornr
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
How naked do you want me to be?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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