He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
