I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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