babies were throwing up all over the place
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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