She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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