I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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