i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
