and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
