yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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