Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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