What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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