It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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