I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
