Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
