Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
