Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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