You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Farmville is her only friend.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
