there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
