That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
