dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
