please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize