Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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