Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So much rum. So many feels.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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