Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
