I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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