Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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