Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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