i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Fuck appropriateness.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
