Sry I called you an 8
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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