I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
