My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
