just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
