cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
