With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
