that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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