okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
