Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
