ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
