I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Drunk is a universal language darling
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
