remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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