You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How's work?
Spinning.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
